What did they tell me about motherhood AND who are they?
I say THEY referring to my Mother, Father, Aunts, Nans, and anyone that was in my close circuit growing up really.
There’s been a lot of times that I have sat and thought why an earth didn’t they tell me that:
- If I ran out of milk and wanted to go to the shop, I’d have to make sure that all four of us were dressed decent (not in PJs or headscarves), wrapped up nicely, strapped in prams before heading out for a 30-minute walk just to get one essential item.
Why didn’t they teach me about budgeting and shopping properly in advance so that things last accordingly until the next shop because if I didn’t we’d either have to go without or go through annoying things like going on adventures just to pick up a bottle?
See I was used to going to Asda followed by Tooting market on a Saturday morning; my mum wasn’t on any of that mum I’m playing out until you come back stuff, but my brother and I saw it as punishment and rather a chore she didn’t want to do alone because she’d be lonely. So, we went to shopping every week dragging our little feet, there were no lessons in our shopping trips as such.
Just thinking about it I have been doing the same, am I setting my children up to fail?
I guess I can start doing budgeting lessons and going through shopping lists with them now!
- Not every man will be Romeo, value yourself and as long as it is positive, growth is always amazing; but remember all the bright things about yourself before your relationships, remain a bright spark whilst you are in them, and if you ever lose yourself along the way, go back and pick up the spark that you left behind and shine with or without them as your golden nuggets are who you really need to shine for.
- I will be a secondary thought once I have my own children and whatever I want to do my children will always come as a first thought and priority, for example:
If I want to go shop=are we all dressed and well enough to go even though I need that item?
I want to go on a short break=before I book who will be kind enough to look after my children?
I would like to study=Can I afford childcare whilst I do, can I handle doing assignments whilst they are up running around, or asleep during the night?
I need to buy myself some new Jeans=have the children got jeans that fit them?
I want to go out with my girls this weekend=have my bills been paid and do I have enough gas and electric before I start making plans?
- No matter how hard things get, cherish your loved ones, just keep on altering ways to balance your lifestyle until it feels right, because your children are your strength and in many cases, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone!
- Give your child a double-barrelled surname because no matter what systems will always identify you as the children’s mother and not a non-relative; and if you don’t get married to their father, you won’t ever feel like an outcast.
- Don’t rely too much on what others say, follow your instincts as a mother!
I went into motherhood thinking all I want is my own big happy family, I guess all I had was love and a warm heart to show for myself at the mere age of 21 when I had my first born. I didn’t put in much thought into things, and I’d really say that planning is the key, but then not planning has got me to where I am today. As hard as thing’s can be, I’m super proud of myself. Mumma to The3J’s! x